I was told writing could be a release, putting what your are thinking and feeling down could help you vent and ultimately think clearer.
Being tested spiritually and physically could shatter a man.
I've been fortunate to be here and my life and my body have been tested three times by this world, the last one coming last August. It almost shattered me. I believe the lord has a plan for me, he has kept me here. He gives me a swift kick in the ass, when i need it and blesses us his own ways. Its blessing to have a family , that is where i get my strength and faith to over come.
Story goes, you hear the wife and your mother always yell "ponte las chanclas" (put your sandals on) o "tapate te vas enfermar" ( cover up, your going to get sick).
Well I sick, and it scared crap out of me. I felt a poke in my ribs after a Saturday Game, and thought it was a strain. It gradually got worse through the week and even went to the doctor, and was diagnosed a muscle strain. Friday, my daughters birthday, we went to outback to celebrate, and i was feeling miserable. Later that night at the football game, i couldn't think, short of breath and the world was spinning. The boys played hard in a nail biter and we ended coming short in the last two minutes. Upon coming down from the box, I saw my wife, and I told her take me to the hospital. A mile away from the stadium, my body started spa-zing and failing. Diagnosis: Pneumonia, sepsis and kidney failure. A day later I was told emergency surgery is needed. Opened up from the middle of my back along the ribs to under my armpit.
Reason for the back story and rant, I consider my self strong willed and positive. This really tested my family and I. It tested my family, they rallied around me and worried, i kept my cool so that my wife and daughter wouldn't stress out more that it has been, but i was in pain, and felt desperate and sad. I felt like i have failed them in a sense that I wouldn't be around for them. I felt bad for my self, and was selfish and only though of football. I felt not complete as a man, weak and down.
My release from everything in the past, has always been football. That's where I turned to this time. I thought football would get me out of the slump. Within a week , fresh out of the hospital against doctors orders I went to practices and started participating more and more. My lovely wife would take me, even though it hurt her so, she backed me up and waiting for practice to end to drive us home.
My release and strength should have been my family. They are my rock and my world.
The strength I have comes from my home. I live with the strongest woman in the world. She has accomplished more thank anyone i have known. She has came to a new country, learned a new language, has a very successful profession and takes on the world by horns. She is the mother to a lovely daughter, who is growing up to be stronger than her two parents will ever be.
Football is great game. At the end of the day its a game. A game that has given me everything, and i am sure most of you coaches and players would agree. My wife, my family, my brothers and the opportunity to grow. Football has given me everything, and i need to learn not to just love the game, but love everything it has given me.
It's fighting with my self on motivation, my body hasn't quite recovered, my lungs are still healing and its hard to look at the lightsaber wound on my back. Better opportunities and days are coming, its an exciting time. 2018 has been great year so far, with the camps and the opportunities , traveling and sharing the game in the US and in Mexico, and we are ready for more.
My family is my strength , my faith is in the lord and my release is the game.
It's ....
Family, Faith, Football ..... In that order